In my experience cooking is more than following a recipe, it’s an art that develops over time with experience and nurturing. I recently was taught how to prepare and cook a biriyani, the Mauritian way. Over the week I went to many places in Northampton to find the different spices and learnt the recipe. When I was making the dish, I came to appreciate the importance of a key ingredient, love. What has love got to do with cooking biriyani you may ask, it’s taking time to understand how each of the spices work together, how too much of one can affect the whole dish and ultimate enjoyment of this ancient dish. Eating is such a social activity, through which we can communicate hospitality and welcome, however welcome is dependant not only on the food we eat but on the words we communicate.

How we communicate with each other is at the heart our reading today in James chapter 3 verses 1-12; words can either build up or tear down people. When I was growing up, I was told “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you”, however I think we would all agree that this statement is not true. That in fact the opposite is true; words have power, can’t be taken back and can affect us deeply. I suspect it will come as no surprise to us all that James uses vivid, direct language to encourage us to tame our tongues as Christians. In verse four he talks about ships and their rudder, ‘Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.’ A rudder is only a fraction of the size of the ship, like our tongues are in relation to our bodies, the size however is not the issue but how we use and control them is.

Take a moment now to reflect on a time when the impact of a conversation you have experienced has been like a spark that has ignited a fire and that continues to burn for such a long time.


Could creating space to think about how to respond have changed anything?

Taking time for me to understand how the spices worked together enabled me to create the biriyani. Making space to reflect on how to respond is so often a struggle because of emotions that are being triggered. However, words being said in haste are often regretted.

Now I suspect nothing I am saying is new to you, in relation to the power of words and the lasting impact of them. Reflecting on James’s advice on taming the tongue and Jesus’ teachings about love in Matthew chapter 22: 37-39, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart …love your neighbour as yourself’. We live in a world where pressure is on us to respond quickly and therefore maybe taming our tongues to reflect God’s love to those around starts by creating space before we respond. Space that is prayer filled, and rooted in God’s love, so that taming our tongues is less about the words and more about our relationship with God. Your prayer today could be to spend time with God to refresh your spirit and then to seek God how in the coming week you may have opportunities to speak life giving words to someone and to show God’s love to someone you are struggling with by the way you communicate with them.  Amen