Last week I returned from the Greenbelt Festival at Boughton House here in Northamptonshire. The theme this year was “Letting Go”. Gathering with thousands of people from a remarkable diversity of backgrounds, traditions, beliefs and experiences was both a joy and a challenge. There was also a poignant sense of letting go because, after ten years at Boughton House, Greenbelt will be moving on to a new site in 2028. Many people spoke of gratitude for what has been and anticipation for what lies ahead.
Yet one thought stayed with me throughout the weekend. Someone suggested that perhaps one of the hardest things we are called to let go of is not a place, a tradition, or even a possession, but our value judgements about one another. The more I reflected on that statement, the more I realised how powerfully it echoes through today’s Gospel reading.

Our reading, Matthew 18:15-20 can feel uncomfortable. Jesus speaks about conflict, wrongdoing, and what happens when someone within the community loses their way. Yet when we look more closely, this is not really a passage about punishment or exclusion. Instead, it is a passage about reconciliation.

Perhaps we find this passage uncomfortable because Matthew’s Gospel assumes that we belong to one another. The Christian life is not simply a private relationship between me and God. It is lived within community. Yet we inhabit a culture that often encourages us to see ourselves first as individuals. When relationships become difficult, our tendency can be to walk away, withdraw, or write others off. Jesus offers a different way.

He begins by saying, “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.” Notice that Jesus’ first instruction is not to gossip, complain, or seek allies. His first instruction is to enter into conversation. The goal is not to win an argument but to restore a relationship.

Jesus then goes further. If the matter remains unresolved, others are invited into the conversation. Again, this is not about gathering support for our side. It is about seeking wisdom together. Additional voices help us see beyond our own perspective.

This is perhaps where the theme of letting go becomes especially important. As Christians, we are called to let go of the need to be right all the time.
We are called to let go of assumptions, personal agendas and the desire to win. Instead, we are invited to seek understanding.

Before judging someone, we might ask ourselves: Have I heard the whole story? Have I listened carefully? Could there be something I have misunderstood?

Yet there is an important question many of us may be asking: What if reconciliation is not possible? We may think of relationships where we have tried repeatedly to reach out, only to be met with silence, anger, or rejection. Some relationships have been marked by deep hurt. Reconciliation always requires more than one willing heart.

Sometimes the most faithful thing we can do is to let go of our need to control the outcome. We can pray, listen, speak honestly, seek forgiveness, offer forgiveness, and leave the door open. But there comes a point when we must place that relationship into God’s hands. Letting go is not giving up on the person. It is trusting that God’s grace can continue to work where our efforts have reached their limit.

The passage concludes with Jesus’ beautiful promise: “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” Jesus promises to be present when his people do the hard work of listening, forgiving and restoring relationships.

As Greenbelt reminded us, letting go is rarely easy. Yet perhaps God is inviting us to let go of judgement, resentment, or the need to control outcomes. Instead, we are called to listen deeply, love generously, and trust God’s grace. This week, may we ask ourselves: Who am I being called to understand better? What do I need to place into God’s hands? And may we remember that every step towards reconciliation is a step taken with Christ, who is always present among us. Amen.