Peter asks Jesus, ‘Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive?’ (Matthew 18:21). His suggestion of seven times sounds generous, but Jesus replies, ‘Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy-seven times’ (Matthew 18:22). Jesus is not offering a larger total; he is telling Peter to stop counting. He is informing Peter that forgiveness is not a scorecard on which another person eventually uses up their allowance. God’s mercy and forgiveness has no limit and neither should ours

Jesus’ teaching here challenges us profoundly because we are very good at keeping accounts of the wrongs committed against us. We remember the careless words, broken promises and repeated disappointments. Some hurts pass quickly; others leave deep wounds. Jesus does not ask us to pretend that harm does not matter or that wrongs should be ignored. Forgiveness is not approval of wrongdoing, nor does it require someone to remain in a situation of danger. Truth, justice, repentance and healthy boundaries are all necessary and important. Forgiveness is also not the same as forgetting. We may remember a wound and still choose not to let it control our response or future. We can acknowledge what happened without allowing bitterness or revenge to consume our lives.

Jesus illustrates his teaching on forgiveness with a king who settles accounts. A servant owes ten thousand talents: an impossible debt. He pleads, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything’ (Matthew 18:26), but he is wholly dependent upon the mercy of the king. We too live by grace, revealed most fully in Jesus Christ. On the cross, Jesus bears human sin and opens the way to reconciliation with God. His prayer, ‘Father, forgive them’ (Luke 23:34), shows mercy offered even amid rejection and violence. Yet the cross is not the end: God raises Jesus from the dead, declaring that sin, guilt and death do not have the final word. The risen Christ brings forgiveness, peace and newness of life. We are received, forgiven and invited to live differently through the help of the Holy Spirit. Through Christ’s death and resurrection, our failures need not be the final chapter. God’s forgiveness releases us from condemnation, and Christ’s risen life calls us to offer others the possibility of repentance, healing and a new beginning.

Remembering God’s forgiveness and mercy towards us should change the way we see those who have hurt us. It does not erase pain, and forgiveness may be a long process rather than a single decision. Yet God can loosen resentment, free us from the desire for retaliation, and help us refuse to let harm have the final word. It can break the cycle and allow a new beginning. This might start with a prayer for willingness, a truthful and honest conversation, an apology, a safe boundary, or the decision to entrust judgement to God.

When the person who has wronged us remains part of our family, workplace or community, forgiveness may need to be practised repeatedly. Each time anger resurfaces, we can place it before God and ask for courage to refuse the cycle of hurt and retaliation. This teaching also shapes the Church. A forgiving community is not one where nothing matters, but one where grace matters more than scorekeeping. Because people will disagree and disappoint one another and yet we recognise that God can transform situations and people.

Ask yourself: Where am I keeping a tally? What hurt do I need to name honestly before God? What small step towards forgiveness might be possible today? Perhaps you need first to receive mercy for yourself. Perhaps you need to forgive someone else. Or perhaps you simply need to ask God to begin changing your heart.  Forgiveness begins not with us trying harder under our own power, but with remembering that we are forgiven people offered God’s grace and forgiveness. As grace is given to us, the Holy Spirit teaches us, slowly, truthfully and repeatedly, to offer grace to others. By God’s grace, putting down the scorecard can make space for healing, freedom, peace and a new beginning. So let us rely on God and ask for his help as we seek to follow in the way of Christ.